A booring day spent trying to redo the entire presentation so that it becomes easier for nontech ppl to understand.And since my guide is busy,i will hafta come tomm........Experiencing parkinson's law.........Have finished all the work i could and am leaving for a evening of roaming arnd...........

Yesterday was also spent in making minor corrections......But am leaving this place on 6th for sure.......mite go to lonavla/khandala for the weekend......hoping that it materialises......

Flavor of the last 2 months

Microsoft excel

And am just c/p ing some interesting stuff that i found.........usual disclaimers apply

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today ...
Bud Abbott and Lou Costello's infamous sketch "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A FEW DAYS LATER . . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".......

source:http://xynext.com/Abbot-Costello-Whos-on-First-Computer-Joke/

My final presentation was yesterday.The CIO was happy with the presentation and as a reward,i get to work till the end of my contract(which happens rarely in the summers,u fin it 7-10 days b4 the scheduled date):( Upon that i was forced to attend the bday party and since i turned up last,i was forced to sing a song.......thoroughly rotten day....Yesterday's was a technical presentation.Now i hafta make another presentation to an audience which has zilch knowledge abt this.And since the audience aint available till 6th,i wait for them till then!!!!!!!!!Minor changes in the data.So im staying here for another 6 days for a total work output worth 6 hrs!!!!Overall,life is chill but the painful part is the travelling in mumbai...

There is no concept of personal space in mumbai.After travelling in the trains,ppl here have forgotten this concept.If they want you to move,they will get hold of ur back,shoulder or waist(whichever they can get hold of) and move you!!!!The next few lines are in brief about my travel travails here in mumbai

Trains

If you are lucky,you mite get a seat but you usually have to fight for it.And after that,if you get the aisle seat,you will have to accomodate a 4th person who usually ensures that he either 1.Sticks his sweaty back against ya or 2.Sits so comfortably that you almost fall of the seat.And if you are the 4th guy, it is like russian army training where you place ur Bu!! on the smallest piece of wood as possible.......And if you get to stand, you will be subject to a good round of tenderising where you are subjected to the P force(people force)from all possible directions except the soles!!!!It gets to be an amazing bone crunching experience and so i have started taking in more calcium and phosphorus since ive realised it.Standing is a bad experience especially if you have someone short in front of you.You get to smell their hair.And it is no Angelina jolie but a 40yr old who is there so it aint fun by any standard.The funda is to go with the flow........But it happens even at times you dont want to and you almost end up getting down at a station you dont want to!!!!This is the time when you are hanging onto the handles with ur lower body being stretched to the hilt with ur feet in air almost all the time.And then you get a magical feeling.The feeling of having lost a lot of weight,the feeling of freedom...;) And if you thought that it is over,it isnt.Getting down is another wonderful experience if ur in the middle.You just move.The entire feeling can be summed up as that of a water molecule subject to conventional currents.And here,people use all sortsa tactics.They will place their palm on ur back and push you as if you were a disabled person.Not a day passes without me giving a angry stare to some idiot who has dared to do that.It isn’t happening frequently nowadays though.And this is the reason I use a bag so that I do not have sweaty palms on my back but my friend says ppl do it all the more as it is a bag.But I will tell you when it becomes useful.Pot-bellied ppl are few in Bombay(what with all the traveling) but they take complete advantage of their assets.They bump into you when they have to get down and you are in front of them.Sometimes they cant help it.And this is when the bag is useful.Not only do you not have the uncomfortable feeling of having someone thrust his extended zone into you but you can also jab them back!!!

Buses

In major stops,ppl form queues to get into buses but it is one of the most inefficient but fair ways to get into buses with 4 other similar buses right behind.And after that,if you are lucky enough you get a seat.I always wondered why Mumbai ppl are obsessed with window seats.Now I know.If you have the aisle seat,”Teri to lag gayi”!!!!You will have ppl thrust their groin against ur shoulder almost all the time(remember that there is no concept of personal space)Upon that,you will have bags shoved in your face and coupla jabs if you are unlucky enough.And if you are standing,you will feel sealed.And sometimes,you get to travel in one of those buses where the driver is taking it out on the bus and thus you.He will brake hard come what may.While this is what ppl pray for if there are lotsa good looking gals standing around you,it sure is a pain if you have a 5 feet tall corpulent lady who carries enormous momentum such that if you are standing in front of her, “teri to lag gayi”.Y?She will strike you down like the bowling ball strikes down the pin.And sometimes,when the bus is empty,you get to see instances of ppl hurtling down almost 1.5 metres.And while this is the moment that you have to feel sorry for the homo sapien who let down his guard, you cant help laughing at the sight.Everyone has a hearty laugh(just to mask the embarrassment).

11th is the alum meet after which I shall be leaving for home………Till then……..peace(whats that)

Back in office.Met up junta on satday eve near McDs.Bumped into a senior.After a lil chatting,we went to the lokhanwala multiplex.Nice place.Since everyone was in a generous mood,i got the chance to take em to a italian restaurant.And it was the opening day.The saddest part was that it was a vegetarian restaurant and we ended up having soups and desserts.By far the most expensive 100gms of tomato ive ever had!!!!!Then picked up some junk before heading into theatre.And then we felt totally miserable......The theatre offered much more variety than the restaurant and at cheaper prices......Picked up a black currant from B&R.........the movie-KUNG FU HUSTLE-during the first 15 mins,i was wondering whether it was the perfect ending to a miserable evening......and then the movie turned good...........i mite be a bit liberal wen saying this but i aint a connoisseur of movies.......this was fun.......with a extra dose of blood i must add :(

woke up at 11 next day........went to friends place to watch F1 racing..........montoya as usual manages to end up screwing schumis chances..........too bad that raikkonen's supension gave up with barely a lap left but with the kind of off track driving that he did,it wasnt surprising to me.......u have the rite to ur opinion though ;) there are just 2 restaurants and they serve veg food :( went to a mysore restaurant and had masala dosa and sheera for dinner..........

My guide has given me appointment at 4.......But insists that i mite hafta stay till 3rd-4th if the feedback insists that a lil more work is needed :( ..........i hope none of that is needed.........else pakjaoonga..........crossing my fingers and hoping for the best......